About two years ago, I started a teaching series on relationships. One Sunday during the series, I asked all the single people in our congregation to stand. I was shocked to see that most of the congregation stood up! I thought to myself, Why are so many of them still single? Why aren’t more of these men and women making a connection? These questions prompted me to teach on the subject of choosing a mate.
Enjoy these helpful steps that will help you choose the right “special someone.”
During the dating process is the time to find out all the information you need to make an informed decision. Here are some important questions to ask and get answers to while you are dating.
Is This Person a Christian?
Do not be unequally yoked together with unbelievers (2 Corinthians 6:14). I would not advise you to marry someone whose beliefs or moral values go against what you believe as a Christian.
You could be setting yourself up for a lot of strange things, and a yoke of bondage. Choose a Christian mate in order to facilitate true harmony in your relationship (2 Corinthians 6:15 AMP).
A woman once said to me, “Pastor, the Lord told me to marry my boyfriend. So I am getting ready to get married.” I said, “Praise the Lord.” The first question I asked her was, “Is he a Christian?” She said, “Well. . . .” I knew right then something was wrong. He was not a Christian, and yet she was saying the Lord told her to marry him. I asked, “Why would God say to do one thing in His written Word and then tell you to do something else in a spoken word?” I basically told her that she had missed God because apparently her thinking was not lining up with His Word. As I continued to talk to her, I found that she was more concerned about having sex than seeking God’s will; therefore she was willing to compromise her values as a Christian.
Please understand, it is not wise to compromise your values to keep someone. Do not be so desperate that you cannot make a wise decision. Always be willing to walk away if you are put in a position where you have to compromise your Christian beliefs.
What Kind of Christian Is Your Choice?
These days it is not enough to simply ask if someone is a Christian. The Bible says a tree is known by the fruit that it bears. What kind of fruit does this person produce? We as Christians should bear the fruit of the Spirit (Galatians 5:22–23).
Does the Person Have a Commitment to Love and Obey God?
What is this person’s personal history? How does this person acknowledge the Word in his or her personal life? Is he or she a committed Christian?
Are the Two of You Spiritually Compatible?
The Word is spiritual. Therefore, you cannot get an understanding of your spiritual compatibility without first having a good amount of fellowship and communication regarding the Word. Are you compatible where prayer is concerned? Do you both like to pray? Do you pray together? Do you both agree it is important to read the Bible daily and get an understanding of God’s Word? Do you both agree that it is important to meditate on the Word? Do you both agree that it is important to live by the Word?
Do You Agree on the Major Doctrines of the Bible?
It is important to know what the major doctrines of the Bible are so that you can discover if you share the same beliefs. Take time to discuss the doctrines of baptism, the Trinity, righteousness, and faith. These are great topics to discuss on your dates. Resist the urge to get romantic too soon while dating. Instead, engage in lengthy conversations regarding very important issues that will have a positive or negative effect on your relationship. Remember, the brother or sister needs to pass your checklist first!
Be on the lookout for part two of this article. My prayer is that it will empower you for success!
God bless you.
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